"Moving on is simple...it's what you leave behind that makes it difficult."

i am still in shock in a way...

my junior year is officially over and my senior year will last one semester.

my best friend will be leaving me in september to go here:

while i will be going to BCHS and the here:

in the spring.

My entire world seems to be turning upside down in a matter of months...both those leading up to the present and the ones to come. Everything i have known is changing:

1) the house i have lived in basically my whole life is being remodeled in a way

2) my parents and i dont get along whatsoever whereas we used to be somewhat close

3) caitlin and i don't talk really

4) brittney is even farther from me than ever before

5) i feel as if what i do isnt important or even worth the effort...nothing comes of it

6) ...

my list could go on and on

HOWEVER

I resently read a book (big shocker there) that gave me some personal insight that i desperately needed. (Allyson Braithwaite Condie wrote the Yearbook series and i must say that i can truly relate to many of her characters.) Anyways, in First Day it reads:

"I wonder why we're so surprised by change. It's happening all the time, all around us. Things are always ending and beginning in life. The surprising thing, I guess, would be if things weren't changing. We're always moving on, or someone near and dear to us is taking a new step. The best thing you can do is make sure that what you carry within you are the things that are important, the things that matter, the things that will last forever."

i realize that

i am undergoing drastic changes in my life that affect not only me, but my family as well--i think this is evident by all the strained relationships within our households...

my prayer however is that things will get easier. i know they will never be the same, but i would hate for things to stay the way they are now.

my family and friends are my life. i would be lost without them...and i think that is the major problem i am having with saying 'good-bye'

i am leaving the known for the unknown...but...

"to get something you never had, you have to do something you never did"

i dont believe i am truly losing my friends...we will all just be vacationing away from each other for a while...

my sisters, my mom, my dad, cindy, chuck, tata, etc will never be too far from me. i may be writing a new page in my book, but i still have connections to the first ones.

i know that i can take this new step...

it will be one of the most difficult things i will ever have to do, but it is not impossible.

i will grow because of it and i will be blessed with new friends and the knowledge that i can do this.

my life is not over...i am merely adding to what is already written.